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Funny Monkey Fasting

Fasting is rest for your digestive system. It has many health benefits, including the clearing of congestion.


When I did my first, 10 day fast on water I had chronic bronchitis, pleurisy and a scar in my lungs. For the first 2-3 days I felt sick from a meal of fish, chips and salad on May 3, 1976 - the last time I ate fish!


On the third day I began to feel more energetic - because digestion takes one third of your energy - and after that I got better and better. On the fifth day I lost my hyperactivity - which had been a part of my life before I was born - so I discovered that it was caused by salicylates in my food.


By day 10 I felt great! My only real problem was constipation, which I have learned can be overcome by a Sealine Colonic.

How to Begin your Fast

Firstly, use your Breath Testing to decide if it is appropriate to fast at this time and for how long. Secondly, test if you need to fast on water or juices. To learn Breath Testing, see my article called The Bullshitometer, which is available FREE when you buy the Toilet Music for Constipated Lovers album.

Thirdly, enter the fast slowly. Start by fasting from thought stimulants such as television, radio, computers and mobile phones, as well as books. Some people read while they eat, giving them indigestion. When you read, read, when you eat, eat. Do them at separate times.


On the next two days remove junk food stimulants, such as caffeine products (coffee, tea, green tea, cocoa, cacao, cola and guarana), sugar and, of course, smoking anything.


On the next day remove all products which stimulate you artificially through excess acidity - animal products, legumes, nuts, seeds and grain. Simply have fruit in the morning and veggies at lunch, including some coconut yogurt to introduce live culture into your intestines.


Intermittent Fasting

I eat breakfast and lunch and no dinner. In this way I keep my weight stable and my blood sugar levels down. I fast from lunch to breakfast, going to sleep when the sun goes down.


If you wish to fast for longer then simply don't eat the next day. Drink more water because food has lots of water in it, especially fruit.


Of course, you need to exercise to maintain body weight. Remember to do 32 squats a day. You see, when astronauts returned from space they had lost a great deal of bone mass. So they needed gravity to build bones.


Squats are anti-gravity exercises, also called Gravity Force exercises or simply GF exercise. You need 32 each day to maintain bone mass. The last time I measured my bone mass - at the age of 62 - I had a bone mass 2% higher than the average 25 year old male.


That's not just from squats, of course. It was also from trampolining - which is a wonderful GF exercise - and my Vitarian nutrition.


Three Day Fasting

You will feel hungry. Drink more water. This length of fasting is worthwhile if you have toxic intestines due to pigging out - going on a binge - for a day.


Five Day Fasting

This length of fasting is worthwhile to determine what you are allergic to. For example, I used it to see which foods made me hyperactive - due to their salicylate content - and which didn't. Mostly, I ate tropical fruit like papaya and banana.


Then I built myself up on fruit, vegetables, coconut yogurt or kefir and Brazil nuts. These are important because Australia has a deficiency of selenium in its soil. Selenium forms part of your red blood cell walls, so it helps to transport oxygen to the cells. That's why so many Australians lack energy - not enough selenium.


As well, Covid strips you of selenium. You don't have 'long Covid", you have selenium deficiency. Simply eat 2-3 Brazil nuts per day (not from Australia, of course) to regain adequate selenium levels and boost your energy. When I had Covid I had over six Brazil nuts per day. You may even need nine! And if you are a menstruating woman you may need iron for your energy levels as well.


Remember that beetroot has lots of iron and fennel, olives and pecan nuts have three times more. Dill has 16 times more than beetroot, so make a Borscht with all of those ingredients to boost your energy. Get the recipe from my song "Pecan and Olive Beetroot Stew", which is on my album "Toilet Music for Constipated Lovers".


Two Week Fasting

Definitely take time off from work for this one. It allows you to handle all of the old mental and emotional baggage that you have been carrying for years. Don't make any major decisions during this time.


Do plenty of Buzz Breathing as well as more Buzzing, and do the Breath of Happiness to keep your spirits up when they may be low due to old conditions resurfacing. You may get the Healing Breakthrough more than once (see my book called Fat Freeing Hormones for Constipated Gorillas), so you need to time to go through that.


How much Water to Drink

Normally you need 1 litre of water per 23kgs of body weight, plus more for exercise or fever. But food is over 70% water and even over 90% water (melons). So work it out approximately.


You have three bowls of food per day - one for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner. 70% of that bowl is water, structured in food, so fill your bowl to 70% of the normal amount that you have and add that to how much water you drink.


For Intermittent Fasting add one bowl with water to 70% of the level you normally have. For longer fasting add two or three bowls, one per meal.


Drink your water mostly in the morning, so that you don't need to get up for a pee and disturb your sleep.



During a long fast constipation is a major concern, so use a "water bomb" to clean out your intestines. Buy some sea salt,such as Celtic salt. On an empty stomach, in the morning, place 4 flat teaspoons of it into one quart of purified water and bring it to body temperature.


Then drink it all in 20 minutes. The salinity is the same as your bloodstream, so it won't osmose through the walls of your intestines. It will simply form a "water bomb" and push all of the contents through your stomach, small intestine and large intestine out. This normally takes about four hours.


During this time stay close to a toilet. If you feel like farting, don't. Instead, go and sit on the toilet. You will be "pissing through your bumhole".


Repeat this procedure every two days to stop headaches and other signs of toxic accumulation. Massage the water through if necessary, and roll around on the floor.


If you feel like vomiting stick your fingers down the back of your mouth and stimulate the vomiting. Your stomach must have been very dirty, possible due to pyloric stenosis (when the muscle of the pyloric sphinter tightens and doesn't allow much or any food down from the stomach to the small intestine).


If you do have this problem you are not alone - many people have it. Make sure that you massage the reflex point to the pyloric sphincter to relax it. Massage it with feather-light strokes down and towards your toes. That point is in my book called Sphincter Reflexology. To get it press the BANANA button now.



How to end your fast

As in the beginning, come out of the fast slowly. Begin in the morning with a cup of herbal tea which has not been heated - because cooked food inflames your intestines. In other words, steep the herbs in purified water overnight, then sip the herb water in the morning.


Half an hour later have a fruit breakfast, preferably consisting of citrus fruit or pineapple. Add a spoon of coconut yogurt to immediately put probiotics into your intestine. Remember to eat much, much less than you were accustomed to, because your stomach has shrunk.


For lunch have a little salad. The high fibre in the vegetables will sweep your intestines clean.


For dinner have lightly steamed greens, with a little lemon juice, Bragg's Liquid Amino Seasoning and a sprinkle of seaweed.


Repeat this pattern for 2-3 days. You will be amazed at the energy it gives you.


After you finish a fast for two weeks or longer, get your blood checked to see if you are low in any nutrient. I have been 30 days without food and no nutrient was low. If you are low, however, test for which supplements are best for you.


Clearly, in Australia, selenium will be deficient, because Australian soil is deficient in selenium, so take 2-3 Brazil nuts a day until you feel full of energy again. The nuts should NOT be from Austraia, of course, so check the package for their source. Brazil or Colombia are fine.


Iron and selenium are part of your red blood cell structure, and red blood cells carry oxygen, so a deficiency in either one may lower your energy levels at any time.



While fasting you become more sensitive to your environment. So you don't want chemicals in your environment, especially not on your body.


To replace chemical perfumes for B.O. (Bacterial Odour), simply take two fingers of sodium bicarbonate and place it under your armpit. The bacteria that thrive there normally don't like the alkalinity. B.O. comes from bacteria dying, so your B.O. will disappear by the next day.


Dental Care

No food, no need to brush? No! After 12 hours the bad bacteria begin to decay your teeth, so while Intermittent Fasting still brush your teeth at night before you go to sleep. That's once after breakfast, once after lunch and once before bed.


During longer fasts maintain this routine. Isn't toothpaste food?


Yes, especially normal toothpastes which have sugar in them (under many long names, such as maltodextrin) to rot your teeth. The more your brush the more you rot your teeth, making more money for the large, chemicals companies that make the toothpaste. You could use Dr Bronner's toothpaste, which has no sugar in it, but that's still food.


So again, sodium bicarbonate on your toothbrush. It's alkaline so it's perfect for a fast, because most toxins are acids.


The Vegan Vitarian Diet is similar. it's ice cream for breakfast, made of fruit and a little coconut cream or nut cream that's been blended and frozen the night before. Blending chews the food a thousand times and freezing bursts open the cells to free their nutrition.


Then you have vine fruit such as potato, sweet potato, taro or yam for lunch, with a large salad.


And then you have lightly steamed greens or green juice for dinner. If you have four cups of deep green, leafy veggies each day you get masses of nutrition.

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